meeting the fairy godmother

I get to meet Valerie Parv/fairy godmother next week – yay! Some things to ask:

1. Could Borris ever work as a hero’s first name?

2. So my manuscript’s pretty much perfect, right?

3. Should I call, er, you know: a) woman’s place b) pleasure centre c) venus fly trap?

4. What exactly is a “lantern jaw”?

5. So how powerful is your magic wand, Val? Are we talking agents, contracts or New York Times bestsellerdom?

6. And speaking of magic wands…hey, that’s a pretty neat euphemism for, er, you know.

I think we’re going to get along just fine.