I am working on some major assessment at the moment, so you’ll have to forgive the distracted tone.
In order to get back to my work as soon as possible as well as enlighten you all about some of the delights of the editing process, my post tonight will be comprised of my teacher’s comments on my last assessment piece: [Quite often I have to re-read sentences to decode all the flourishes and turns of phrase.]
I don’t understand this
what gaping feeling?
convoluted sentence
this word doesn’t work, an object is very much not alive
what does this mean and look like?
what is she saying here? That she will marry the next chap to come up to her? Why??
clunky
you can’t just write this without explanation
aren’t they in a pub?
Again – what does this mean? These kinds of allusions are frustrating to the reader.
Ah, Sonia Orchard. You are a great teacher.
Learning is such a painful art!