I’m in the red pen stage, and will soon be in the beta stage, after which I’ll need a damn good query letter, to make sure agents want to see my manuscript. I will love and adore you all if you give me some feedback on the blurb I’m putting together for My Lady Untamed.
Any reactions you have are great: did you want to read the story? Was any of it confusing? Was there too little of my heroine in it? (Actually I can probably answer that now with a yes. This is a very hero-centric blurb!)
As it stands:
The Duke of Darlington is playing a dangerous political game in league with Liverpool. When he trades his own reputation to further the game, it’s critical that he doesn’t lose focus. Only he’s been having trouble breathing of late, and he fears he’s become a danger to himself.
For distraction he spies on his lover’s sister – the rough-mannered girl from the country who thinks she can warn a duke away. What he doesn’t expect is a girl who sees him clearly, and says awful, true things to his face. He follows her back to the country, determined to be cured by the sharp edge of her tongue.
Too late he realises his mistake: in the country he’s no longer in his world – he’s in hers. He hasn’t reckoned on having to face the darkness in himself before he can banish it. Or of meeting the one girl who’s strong enough to take him on.
The place-holder blurb I have here (copied below) showcases very different elements of the story. It’s not in the structure of a blurb, but are there any elements from it that you would like to see brought into the blurb?
Roscoe is a brilliant, troubled duke who follows Bea to the countryside dressed as a woman. He’s very particular about his wardrobe and his pet pig. Bea has agreed to help him sort himself out if he’ll stay away from her sister.
He’s extreme. She’s strong enough to take anything he can throw at her. Love ensues.